Smells Like Sex
by hell-raiser13
Summary: It's Hidan's birthday but Kakuzu isn't even paying attention to him and he wants some much needed attention! KakuHi KakuzuxHidan and SasoDei implied with a little SasorixDeidara at the end Yaoi/shounen ai Don't like then Don't read


NOTE: AKATSUKI AND ALL RELATED CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE! IF THEY WERE THEN THEY'D WIN AND EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY AND LIKE IT!

IF NOT THEN I COULD JUST BLOW ALL THEIR ENEMIES TO HELL! D

Made for my friend kirara555 when we were rp-ing and I came up with this idea for Hidan's birthday 8D

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**SMELLS LIKE SEX**

The silver-haired immortal laid on his bed, staring at the glowing neon clock. Nine-fifty-five pm... He'd gone all day with occasional happy birthdays and gifts, all randomly given to him. But so far he hadn't received anything but an annoyed grunt from the person he wanted to hear from most!

He frowned, why wouldn't Kakuzu pay attention to him? It was his birthday for Jashin's sake!

He rolled over on his bed to glare at the wall. He wanted some sort of attention from the stitched man... a specific sort of attention actually.

He wanted birthday sex.

And not just any birthday sex. He wanted hot, moaning, orgasmic birthday sex with Kakuzu.

But Kakuzu wasn't paying him any attention! So the question wasn't what he wanted... but how to get it. And just then... Just like that... Hidan knew what he had to do.

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"Oh Kakuzuuuuuu~"

Kakuzu looked up from his desk to see Hidan in the doorway to his room. He looked back to his work with a grumble, telling Hidan to leave.

Vibrant violet eyes glared as Kakuzu continued to ignore their owner. Hidan walked into the miser's room, shutting the door behind him. Lips set in a determined frown, Hidan walked all the way up to Kakuzu's desk and leaned forward over it.

"Hidan. I told you-" Kakuzu was cut short as Hidan grabbed his mask, yanking it down and slamming their lips together in a teeth-crashing kiss.

"It's my birthday." Hidan looked into Kakuzu's eyes determinedly, "I want you to pay attention to me. You haven't even said happy birthday."

Kakuzu blinked at the now pouting Jashinist, "Happy birthday...?"

"That's not gonna cut it." Hidan's gaze fell on Kakuzu's lips, greedily deciding how quickly he could steal another kiss. His own lips glistened, soft and pink, so inviting to the stitched man he was trying to seduce.

"I have work to do Hidan. We can talk about this later." Kakuzu tried to ignore those luscious lips.

"But Kuzuuuuuu!" Hidan whined, "It's my birthday!"

"Not my fault."

Hidan sighed in frustration, how to get through... Then he remembered. He didn't have to get through to Kakuzu. He just had to get his second head to do his thinking for him...

The silver-haired smirked as he jumped up and sat on the edge of the desk.

"Hidan! What're you-" Kakuzu froze as he watched.

Hidan slid his cloak slowly from his body to pool on the polished wood.

"Hidan? What're you doing?" Kakuzu asked, though not making any moves to stop him.

"I feel hot." He answered simply, half lie. He felt hot, but only in his lower regions.

"So... you're stripping on my desk?"

"I could strip on your bed." Hidan smirked as he let the words hang.

Kakuzu watched, the words breeding images in his head. Naughty images. Not for virgin eyes or minds. And Kakuzu chewed his tongue, mentally willing little Kuzu to go down.

Hidan jumped off the desk and laid on Kakuzu's bed, fully in sight and in a suggestive position. Very suggestive. With his right hand behind his head, Hidan was sliding his left down the front of his pants. Pulling the pants to give Kakuzu an imaginative spin, Hidan gently touched himself. All of this done perfectly well in Kakuzu's line of sight.

"Damn it... Hidan..." Kakuzu's voice wasn't very threatening as Hidan looked daringly at him. He was challenging him, urging he go ahead and fuck the smaller immortal into the bed.

"Kuzu~" Hidan let his voice travel to the miser in a breathy moan, "Faster Kuzu... Harder... Take me... Ohhh~ Make me yours Kuzu..."

Hidan grinned wickedly as he knew he was getting to the taller man's sexual interests. He must be seeming pretty fuck-able right about now.

Kakuzu's emerald eyes glanced from Hidan's panting open mouth, his lips open in ragged breaths and seductive moans, to his pants, where his hand played underneath and his fingers danced across his throbbing aching length. Kakuzu held back a moan of his own at the thought of it all. He could take the zealot right now. No one would ever know that he ignored the papers and gave into his desires. No one need ever know....

No. That was just what Hidan wanted. Hidan wanted him to force the hot, panting... moaning... delicious immortal into... submission.... Make him scream and writhe underneath the taller... Damn it. Thinking wasn't helping any.

Hidan was getting impatient, why wasn't Kakuzu already over here fucking him senseless? He had everything to look nice and... Hidan stopped touching himself as he realized what he needed to drive Kakuzu over the edge.

Hidan slid his pants down his hips, teasingly removing them from his body. The he slid his boxers down his ass before pulling the front down. Slipping them down to lift the article of clothing with one foot, he kicked the silk to fly a small distance away.

Hidan smirked devilishly as he noticed Kakuzu's expression of surprise that he'd go this far.

Laying back, Hidan made a show of sucking on his fingers and getting them nice and slick. Spreading his legs welcomingly, the devious immortal trailed his fingers down... and slid one into his own entrance.

Kakuzu's eyes widened ever so slightly as he watched the smaller man on his bed, thrusting his fingers into himself and legs wide open and so inviting...

"Ah! Mmmm Kuzu~" Hidan let out another breathy moan.

That was it.

Hidan was already undressed, hot, on his bed, moaning, and ready. Kakuzu could take him, fuck him, and afterwards Hidan would sleep, shut up, wouldn't be a bother, and Kakuzu wouldn't have this hard aching bulge in the front of his pants.

Hidan realized he'd gotten to Kakuzu when he heard the scrape of the chair on the floorboards. When Kakuzu stormed over and grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop finger-fucking himself. When Kakuzu immediately crashed their lips together, shoving his tongue in and forcing Hidan to accept.

Hidan moaned in the fact he was being dominated over so roughly, so viciously, uncaring, and mercilessly. He was helpless to watch as Kakuzu tied his wrists above his head and to the bed, quickly removing his own clothes.

His eyes watched with eager lust as Kakuzu positioned himself at Hidan's entrance and thrust in without warning, causing the silver-haired to scream in agony and ecstacy.

Hidan's back arched off the bed as Kakuzu slammed into him, pain burning with pleasure. His eyes rolled back as Kakuzu dug threads into between his ribs, puncturing soft pale flesh. When Kakuzu thrust deeply and held, Hidan whimpered.

The Jashinist was trying to move his hips to make Kakuzu thrust, whimpering and whining for him to move.

"Why did you come in here, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, "Was this it? To seduce me?"

"I want you to fuck me." Hidan whimpered, "Fuck me good, long, and hard. Make me scream, oh Jashin, make me scream."

"How loud do you want to scream?" Kakuzu asked, he didn't want others to be too aware of what was going on in here.

"N-nobody's home." Hidan smiled, "Nobody but Blondie and the Puppet. And you know that they do it."

"That doesn't answer my question Hidan."

"Oh Jashin please...." He whined, "Hard... Make me scream as your heart desires. Fuck me. Mutilate me. Violate me, please."

Kakuzu arched a brow, "How hard?"

"Kakuzu!" Hidan snapped before sounding desperate, "Break me... force me to submission, to your will... You know you want to... C'mon... It's my birthday."

The miser smiled softly at all the offers laid in front of him. All the possibilities in one man.

"Alright then." Kakuzu leaned close to whisper, "But only because it's your birthday."

Hidan grinned in delight and excitement as he tried to press his body close to Kakuzu's. Kakuzu answered by resuming slamming into the tight, screaming Jashinist mercilessly.

He grabbed Hidan's hips with a bruising force so he could pound harder into the smaller, making Hidan scream in delight. Delirious delight.

Kakuzu didn't even bother giving Hidan's throbbing member attention as he slammed into the man again and again, hitting the prostate dead-on each time.

"Kakuzuuuuu!~" Hidan screamed as he climaxed on their chests and his stomach.

Kakuzu groaned softly as he felt the other tighten around him, hot and pleasurable. He came, filling his lover to the rim.

Hidan lay back with a small smile, "Thank you Kuzu...~"

"Right." Kakuzu pulled out and moved to leave.

"Kakuzu?"

"Hmm?" He looked and saw a pleading Jashinist.

"Leaving so soon? I'm all tied up here and there's so much you could do to me. You're just gonna walk away?"

Kakuzu bit his lip before deciding, "No."

Hidan grinned as the Stitched man got back on the bed, ready to re-dominate him again and again.

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"Danna?" Deidara poked the red-haired puppet master awake.

"Hm? What? What is it Deidara?"

"Can I sleep with you, un? Hidan's in Kakuzu's room." He pouted softly.

Sasori nodded and Deidara grinned, climbing into bed and snuggling close.

"Thank you Danna." Deidara purred.

"Mhm." Sasori chewed his bottom lip as he felt the blonde close to his body, skin to skin. He could hear the moans from down the hall, and Hidan's pleasured screams. It was all kind of erotic.

Flipping the blonde over, Sasori kissed his lips tenderly and eagerly.

"Danna!? What're you doing, un?" Deidara gasped as Sasori ripped his pants off.

"We're having sex for Hidan's birthday." Was his excuse.

But Deidara didn't complain.

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When Leader and Konan walked through the door the next morning, Leader took one look around and frowned.

"Smells like sex."


End file.
